The experience of taking pleasure in the awareness or possibility of another’s suffering. There has become so much unrecognized pain suppressed within the self that we experience relief when we become aware of pain happening outside the self. Since the focus of intensity is outside of the self we are able to project and deny the already repressed feelings of pain and suffering we ourselves are walking with. We connect more with defended ego part of the self that says we are superior to whatever is before us, or the angry shame ridden side of our personality takes validation from what we are seeing, “See? It’s not just me. You’re broken too.”
Schadenfreude is the opposite of empathy. We aren’t really aware of what the sufferer is experiencing. If we were, we’d want it to stop. Schadenfreude is the accumulated result of consistently using anger to suppress our real vulnerability. We look out away from the self projecting to avoid the self. What once afforded relief has become, over time, a defense mechanism that builds an actual brain pathway which triggers the release of dopamine in the brain when we become aware of another’s pain, shame, or struggle. But all the while, deep inside, we grow ever-more self-loathing.
Life is full of suffering, but when we deny our suffering and turn to avoidance we begin to lose our empathy. We step out on a path away from the self and risk eventually becoming something that hurts all the selves in the world.
